Crying makes me feel good

This morning, like the last couple of mornings, Raghav has been waking up very irritable and cranky. Sometimes we have been able to sit down and figure out what could be the cause, like when he says: "Amma, I know I am very irritated, but I don't know why....can you think?" With him though, "thinking" does not mean thinking for him, it means thinking with him :) That is a huge challenge, as one has to make him in some way feel that he has played a huge part in figuring out what it is! Most often than not, I am usually having to do this in the midst of making breakfast, or packing my husband's lunch, or something else that is time-bound in some ways.

So, over the last few days, we have sat down and talked and talked and analyzed and come up with things like being very hungry, or needing to go to the loo, or not knowing what to do or how to start the day off (Raghav usually likes to do something as soon as he wakes up, and often he is caught unable to decide on what to do, while at the same time not wanting to plan or decide on anything ahead of time too! Tough job for him and us! Phew! :)

Today though when he woke up and felt the same way, I asked him if I could remind him of the last few days, and how we had found out what to do. However, he told me that none of those were the causes today, and that we had to "think"again! But none of our talking and discussing and analyzing helped today, and we just had to be with the irritation, however hard it was. A little later, we all got back to what we had been doing.

Soon, Raghav came out of the room in tears. I hugged him and asked him what happened. He said that he did not know why, but he was crying and just felt like crying. I sat with him and explained how I too sometimes felt that way, and that it was ok to cry until one no longer feels the need to cry.
While he sat next to me and sipped his warm water, he turned around to me and said :"Amma, do you know, I actually feel good after crying.....and also I think it helps to clean my eyes....all the dirt from inside comes out!"

I smiled, nodded and held him close, silently wondering how true that was.....that crying does make one feel so good....that crying was a good way to cleanse one's system inside out....and above all that, to embrace it lovingly with open hands and an open heart without searching for causes and answers.....like any other emotion one feels.....for each of them is an inherent and integral part of who we are.