Conditioning - Understanding how the world works....

Raghav was in the tub after his bath this morning. Sometimes, that's where his inspiration and questing questions come from. And I love being in that space with him.

This morning, we were talking about something to do with his childhood. He wanted to know when he started walking, talking etc. and how. I shared with him how I felt that he didn't even try something until he felt 'ready' to do it - that was how it was with walking and talking and many things. I told him how he didn't crawl at all, nor hold on to things and walk so much. He just got up and started taking his first steps, and didn't even fall so much. A similar thing happened with talking. He would gurgle a lot as a baby, and babble a little, but there was not much of using unintelligible words with him. He spoke his first word when he had just turned one and it was very clear. The words he used after were also very precise and clear.

"So I didn't know how to talk when I was born right? Then how did you know what I needed?", he asked.

"Well, you cried....you couldn't talk then," I added.

"So then, you tested and found out what I was trying to say through my crying right?....you probably tried different things and found out which ones made me happy or comfortable?", he went on.

I was quite amazed at his logic and inference. So I asked him how he knew or guessed that and if he had read about it somewhere. This is what he shared:

"No. I just know. Because I have experienced that so many times in my life. Like some time back, I remember how I used to get so irritated and not know why or what was causing that irritation, and we talked about it, and you told me that we could think of some things which could be causing it. So we made a list - like needing to go to the bathroom, hunger, tiredness or sleep, or something else. And then I thought about and tried out each one every time I was irritated."

"Yeah....but how did that help?" I prodded on.

"Because by doing that I got to know what was it that was causing that irritation and what was not. It was by testing that I found out....some things made me feel happy and comfortable and some things didn't, and so I found out. ....and so I think that you also must have done the same thing when I was a baby and cried for everything..," he said.

I stood amazed at how these connections and learning happen effortlessly - how we learn about how we learn. :)

Habits

We are still settling down into our new house. Yes, the stuff is all put away and we can see the floor now :), but our bodies are still getting used to the new space we are in after 3 years. As you read on, you will know why.

This morning I was telling Raghav how my hand had gone automatically to one direction, in search of the light switch in the kitchen, when actually, the switch was on another side. We both laughed and then discussed at length about how sometimes we do things automatically out of habit. We spoke about how my body had gotten used to the switch being in one place and now had to get used to it being in a different place in the new house. That led to a long discussion on habits - what they are, why something becomes a habit, and how do we not make something a habit. We spoke about brushing teeth, having a bath and many such daily routines.

Finally Raghav signed off saying this: "Amma, I think when we do not think about what we are doing, is when it becomes a habit. I don't want to make anything a habit, because then I will stop thinking!"

One more lesson in mindful living :)