Of late, we have been having some concerns over Raghav's use of the
iPad and had some long conversations with him on that, letting him know
how we felt about some things and why we were feeling that way. He
listened long and hard, agreed with many points raised and then decided
to experiment with some rules, which he decided to make for himself, all
on his own. We asked him to make rules that he could remember and
follow on his own, without us having to remind him. He made a few and has diligently been following them for some days now.
Today, he was too excited to play something as soon as he woke up this morning, and was all set to get going with his plan for the day. And he forgot to set the timer on his iPad, which was one of the rules he had made. After a few hours into the game, when the charge dropped really low, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten something and had broken a rule. He was angry and disappointed with himself, came and told me that and decided to punish himself by skipping lunch. He refused to listen to me about punishment and how I felt about it. And so he starved the whole day. We let him follow what he wanted to do.
A little while ago, he came up to me and beamed from ear to ear, telling me this:
"Amma, let's make it this way.....the day I break a rule which I made, let it be that that day none of the rules count.....but that doesn't mean I will break them everyday or often!" :)
This is the whole point of rules isn't it? ....They are meant to be followed and broken at will. :)
What if we had a common understanding about this?
Well I can say from experience how freeing it is to see rules this way! A dear friend and I have lots of 'spiritual' conversations over the state of traffic these days, where we exchange stories and complaints and frustrations. Simple, mundane things that can bring you some great insights into the art of living. :)
At the end of one of those conversations, he shared this idea with me - what if we saw traffic issues in this light?.....that at every traffic light, there will be some who will stop, and some who will not....well, I have been trying to see things this way for a while now, and I can tell you how peaceful and happy I feel inside when I drive on our crazy roads these days! :)
Do try it and see for yourself!
Rules are made to be followed and broken at will :)
Today, he was too excited to play something as soon as he woke up this morning, and was all set to get going with his plan for the day. And he forgot to set the timer on his iPad, which was one of the rules he had made. After a few hours into the game, when the charge dropped really low, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten something and had broken a rule. He was angry and disappointed with himself, came and told me that and decided to punish himself by skipping lunch. He refused to listen to me about punishment and how I felt about it. And so he starved the whole day. We let him follow what he wanted to do.
A little while ago, he came up to me and beamed from ear to ear, telling me this:
"Amma, let's make it this way.....the day I break a rule which I made, let it be that that day none of the rules count.....but that doesn't mean I will break them everyday or often!" :)
This is the whole point of rules isn't it? ....They are meant to be followed and broken at will. :)
What if we had a common understanding about this?
Well I can say from experience how freeing it is to see rules this way! A dear friend and I have lots of 'spiritual' conversations over the state of traffic these days, where we exchange stories and complaints and frustrations. Simple, mundane things that can bring you some great insights into the art of living. :)
At the end of one of those conversations, he shared this idea with me - what if we saw traffic issues in this light?.....that at every traffic light, there will be some who will stop, and some who will not....well, I have been trying to see things this way for a while now, and I can tell you how peaceful and happy I feel inside when I drive on our crazy roads these days! :)
Do try it and see for yourself!
Rules are made to be followed and broken at will :)
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