Sunday, May 11, 2014


A few weeks ago, I shared this on my wall on Facebook -"Wallowing in the quiet happiness of not knowing....not knowing if I am living with an 8 year old who sometimes has the profound wisdom of an 80 year old, or an 8 year old who can scream and burst into tears in an instant and who looks up to me like a baby would sometimes with forlorn eyes, or now with an 8 year old who is busy making and keeping happy secrets like a teenager, in the quiet seclusion of his room....there is a beauty and a joy in not knowing....there is a love and a being-ness that defies all concepts of age and norms...and I love that! :)"

It felt good to bask in the warm autumn sun of motherhood, with all its brilliant, changing is often like that with Raghav....always changing, always colourful, always new and fresh - just like Fall. Only, that I never know what I am going to get :) or get into!

After months of carefully guarding his secret, last night Raghav finally decided to share it with me :) I plonked myself on the beanbag watching him and listening to his "secret between the iPad and him". The joy that poured out through his lit up face and flowing words, as he told me all about his Lego Marvel Superheroes and the videos of them that he had been watching all along, lit up my face and heart too. It was infectious! I suddenly felt like another kid, finally being let in to the most mysterious secret  in his little world :)

All these months, Raghav would ask me to keep away from him, when he was doing this " secret thing". He would shield himself and the iPad even from a casual, unconscious glance from me or my husband. He would sometimes announce to us to stay away from the room he was in. The build-up around the secret as usual added to its enigma. However, we managed to keep away :)

I asked him last night, as to why he had decided to finally share his well-preserved secret with us. "It was too hard for me to keep it to myself and away from your eyes any longer amma!", he sighed with a smile.

I am glad that he did - for partaking in the joy and unfolding of a secret has a special flavour of its own :) There is a beauty and a joy in not knowing, and a beauty and a joy in getting to know too!

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