We were just going to bed. Raghav had finished reading his book - what he usually does before getting ready to crash, while I hadn't finished mine as yet. He was full of energy - jumping on the bed, swinging pillows, sometimes crashing into me, making weird sounds and calls, and just going a bit too crazy for me to deal with after a tiring day. I told him off firmly at first, saying how I really wanted some quiet, and asked him to go elsewhere and finish all that he wanted to do, before coming back into our bedroom.
But he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't listen. He just went on and on. I felt the anger rise inside me, wanting to explode and quieten everything in one stroke. I was tired and really wanted my space. I yelled at Raghav asking him to be quiet and calm down as I needed that silence and space. He burst into tears, covered himself from head to toe and refused to talk to me. I gave him the space he needed too. I told him to let me know when he had calmed down, and that we could talk then.
A few minutes later, he called out to me and said he was now calm. Here is the conversation that followed:
Me: So do you realise how much energy you have inside that is wanting to come out?
R: Yes. It is like it is all trapped inside and has now suddenly come out.
Me: Hmm...so what do you want to do with that trapped energy? Can you think of better ways in which you can use up that energy, which won't trouble other people?
R: I could use it up by doing things with my body.....like running, jumping, dancing (which I do rarely), cycling, swimming, playing something....
Me: Yes. Can you think of any more?
R: No. That is one way of using energy. But I can also use it another way no? By calming myself down by breathing deeply?
Me: Yes. Deep breathing has helped me calm down. So you are saying that the energy does not have to flow out and be used up in some way?
R: Yes. It can be inside my body. And I can calm myself down by breathing deeply.....by taking in air through my nose and letting it out through my mouth. I can do that also.
I love the way he makes me see the same things in fresh, fun and 'different' ways! :)
But he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't listen. He just went on and on. I felt the anger rise inside me, wanting to explode and quieten everything in one stroke. I was tired and really wanted my space. I yelled at Raghav asking him to be quiet and calm down as I needed that silence and space. He burst into tears, covered himself from head to toe and refused to talk to me. I gave him the space he needed too. I told him to let me know when he had calmed down, and that we could talk then.
A few minutes later, he called out to me and said he was now calm. Here is the conversation that followed:
Me: So do you realise how much energy you have inside that is wanting to come out?
R: Yes. It is like it is all trapped inside and has now suddenly come out.
Me: Hmm...so what do you want to do with that trapped energy? Can you think of better ways in which you can use up that energy, which won't trouble other people?
R: I could use it up by doing things with my body.....like running, jumping, dancing (which I do rarely), cycling, swimming, playing something....
Me: Yes. Can you think of any more?
R: No. That is one way of using energy. But I can also use it another way no? By calming myself down by breathing deeply?
Me: Yes. Deep breathing has helped me calm down. So you are saying that the energy does not have to flow out and be used up in some way?
R: Yes. It can be inside my body. And I can calm myself down by breathing deeply.....by taking in air through my nose and letting it out through my mouth. I can do that also.
I love the way he makes me see the same things in fresh, fun and 'different' ways! :)
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