I Hate Advertisements!

Some days ago, while we were in the car, Raghav shared his displeasure about the ads that appear before the videos that he watches on Youtube.

"I hate those advertisements! Why do they even have those ads for videos?", he bellowed angrily.
And we talked about how they probably made money with those ads, because of which he was able to watch all his videos.

"But why do we need ads? Why can't people just go to the shop and buy what they want or feel like buying?", he added.

"Because then the buying or not depends on whether someone goes to the shop or not....and they perhaps want to make more money, they want more and more people to buy their products....that is why they put out ads....to put out a message about that product.....to tempt people to go looking for it and buy it," I said.

"Yes....I know....ads trick you," he continued. "Like I have seen that Johnson's shampoo and soap ad on Youtube, where they say that if you use it, your skin will be softer.....I have been using that shampoo for so long, but I don't feel that way.....that my skin is softer or anything...which means what they are saying is not completely right no?," he added. "That is why I never trust ads, even if they are interesting."

"Which one did you find interesting?"....I was curious to know.

"The Dove soap ad? That looks really interesting, but I would never go and buy a Dove soap....because I don't think what they say is true! I will never buy anything for which they show ads," he said. I smiled.

He wanted to know more about how they made money with ads, what are the various things which people advertise for and so on, and so we talked about ads for houses, cars, travelling, food and so on. I also shared with him how sometimes some stores advertise a sale that says -'buy two and get one free' and we spoke about how they perhaps adjust the price so that they don't lose much, or make a profit, and how people like us actually get fooled by that, as we think that we are getting something free, when we are actually not, and have paid for it in some ways. We also chatted about how sometimes they have ads for sales when they want to get rid of old stock - things not sold.

Here's how he reflected what he had understood. :)
"So that means, if there is a sale in a toyshop and they say that if you buy one car, you get one car free....and they say that you have to pay 200Rs., then actually the price of each car is 100Rs., but they sell it for 200Rs.?"
"Yes, so you are sometimes actually paying for two cars, thinking that you are paying for one only!," I added.
"Yes.....they are cheating us then," he exclaimed.

We then went on to talk about how we need to be more aware when we think of buying things, how the ads can play on our minds and what we need to think about before buying something.

Pain

"Why do we feel pain? Do you know?"

The question jumped into my head from my son, who stood behind me as I was busy browsing something on my laptop this afternoon.

"What is our body trying to tell us through pain?", he continued.

It came too suddenly for me to respond coherently. And anyway, I need time to think through before a response forms inside. So I told him that while I thought about it a little more and found the words to share, he could tell me what he thought about pain and why we feel pain.

"I think maybe it is a signal....telling us that the body is hurt.....it protects us. I also think that pain tells us that the body is already starting to heal," he added.

"So you feel that when you get hurt physically, the pain that you feel is actually useful, because it is telling you that something is wrong, that you are hurt, and also that the body is already starting to heal?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

And then we went on to talk about how each of us experiences pain differently, how we have different levels of tolerance to pain, and about the pain we feel inside when we feel 'hurt' because of what someone has said or done.

It was a lovely exploration for both of us. I liked what he said about pain telling us that the body is already doing what it can to heal itself. It left me with so many more questions - some that had come up earlier, but which had sunk back into some forgotten corner of my mind.

Why do we want to get rid of pain? 
Why do we go to a doctor? 
Why don't we trust our own body and its capacity to heal when we are in pain?
Can we ever get to that space however great our pain?

As these questions bobbed up and down inside, I realised that physical pain is actually something that I feel only in the moment. The greatest physical pain that I have felt up until now - labour pains and  pain during childbirth - is something that I have no physical memory of...that is, however hard I try to relive those moments now, I cannot remember and feel the pain now as I had probably felt it then. My memory of pain is only through my feelings, emotions, visual images or words that are associated with that event.

So then, what is pain? 
Why is it that I do not remember 'pain' as pain? 
Is that in itself telling me something? 
Is pain just a reminder for us to get back into our body, stay with it and trust it? 
Is it a way of letting us know that all we need to do is to be aware of the pain and our body? 
Is it telling us to just stop what we are so busy doing, to just slow down and 'rest' into life or what is happening?

I don't know the answers to these questions, and I am okay to not know. Maybe I will discover something about it as I go along and live my life. Or maybe not. As of now, I am happy to stay with these questions and see where they take me and my son. He will learn what he needs to about pain and so will I. And every now and then perhaps we will meet to check and share what each of us has discovered about it and ourselves. What a beautiful way to live that would be!

So what is your relationship with pain?
What is your story of pain?