Raghav loves Christmas! - because of the gifts! I wonder why none of our Hindu festivals are like this - there is no concept of giving or sharing things in any of them, except maybe Deepavali - and I think even that must be a new custom - to give gifts or sweets to friends and family.
Anyway, Raghav saw a Santa at a mall we went to 2 days ago, and that Santa gave him a small gift. So he was very worried whether Santa would come home and give him the gift he had asked for! And then he reassured himself saying "Amma, this is not a real Santa! Real Santa will come home and give me the Lego that I have asked him for no?"
I had never heard a kid ask this before and so this was new to me! I guess he was wondering how there could be so many Santas everywhere!
This thought was bothering him I guess, as he kept asking me if Santa would come home and leave his gift under the little tree we had decorated. A few weeks ago, he had typed out a note for Santa on the computer and done a painting on the computer. It was a beautiful rainbow painting - because Santa would like rainbow colours!
Well, as most parents would, we put him to sleep last night and then packed his gift and left it under the tree with a special note. In the morning, when he woke up, he went straight to the the tree to see if the gift was there.....and the look on his face when he read the note was indescribable! But then, after he had opened it and built the new Lego racing jeeps that were his gift, he said something which took me by surprise! It was a reminder to me to look into details a little more.....
"Amma, do you know that Santa used the same paper that we used to wrap the gifts I made for Aditya, Andrew and Radhika!" (My sister and her family!) Gosh! I had never thought of that! And I told myself to take care next time, to be more careful and not do anything that would shatter the image that a little kid has of Santa!
While I laughed at the end of this mail thinking " how smart and observant Raghav is, what bothers me is the lie behind the entire Santa.
ReplyDeleteFor parents of course such a simple untruth gives so much happiness all round. I have no answer.
When we talk about the necessity to be truthful and are we being fair to the children on situations like these? How do we handle this?
Love,
appa
I don't know appa.....but I think kids outgrow all this.......but ur comment made me think too...maybe I shud tell him the truth?! I don't know.....will think about it....but what is nice about Christmas is the exchange of gifts....sharing....why don't our festivals / celebrations ever have this component? I wonder now....I never did earlier!
ReplyDeleteHi There,
ReplyDeleteYou have a very perceptive observant child, and that is a tough one to handle...But what a joy ride that is going to be for you!!:).
He has his doubts about the reality of Santa, then I would respect that and be open about it to him...My oldest now 12, always seemed to know the reality of it..even at age 5, she knew Santa was something people concocted and brought around in the communities for the fun of it. She said it was comforting thing to do for the families and children...I would have loved to indulge in taking pics and enjoying the presence of Santa, but my daughter felt she did not need it. She also was reading widely and deeply and was way mature...so I guess she picked a lot of it from her voracious reading...she felt insulted when people tried in getting her to believe in things...She is a sensitive kid and a very sensible one and never would she hurt anyone...but internally was very strong in believing what she felt was right..
Whereas my son, who is now 10, loved the imaginary world of Santa, fairies and the mythological characters...probably believed in the magical things that brought everything to a happy ending, and he was and is a very sensitive kid. World pain is too much bear...and he has also been exposed to things of the world because of his voracious reading, hearing conversations and just living life with us....It was comforting to live in the imaginary world, especially the ones where elders have no objection with :))...he grew out of Santa, but enjoyed Buzz Light year, Woody and so on...he loved the imaginary world that he always enjoyed creating...His pet penguin is his buddy to him even today...he comes alive whenever ds wants it...(you can read something about it here http://bookslinksandmore.blogspot.com/2010/06/our-toy-story.html)...
Sorry for all the divergence in this post...My point is that even if you reveal the truth to your ds, which I would very much think is the right thing to do as he is highly intelligent kid...he would still take comfort in pretending it to be real...just for the comfort of it...and he will naturally grow out of it too...In both my childrens case, they wanted to know the truth no matter what...and preferred I was honest about it...
You know your child best...you will not harm him no matter what path you take:))...And with respect to Christmas or any celebrations, I have always emphasized on charity help or contributions and sharing with friends, family and underprivileged...you can make up your own rules towards the celebrations...and you will see many following it too:))
Good Luck
Enjoy the journey!
Subadra
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI wrote a very long response here, but it just got lost..SIGH...Will try to share my thots again later..wanted to say that I really enjoyed the post..
Take care
Subadra
Thanks Sravani! Love your comments....have a lot to learn from you and your journey of homeschooling...am so glad to have found you and your blog.....hope to keep in touch this way!
ReplyDelete